'The' Blog

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

I dunno what to write ... I just want to write something ..

I think I get too easily influenced by movies/TV/books and the likes ... I mean .. one day I watch Gladiator .. and I want to go back in time and be a soldier who fights with mighty swords ... some time later I am reading about Mr. Richard Branson and his Virgin group of companies .. and I want to work on little business plans and become a business tycoon. Then I watch Coupling, which is a sitcom, somewhat like friends you can say ... and I want to be no one special .. I just want to lie around all day .. have a small happy life ... drink beer .. speak with a british accent ...etc. I see Godfather ... I want to be all powerful .. not a mafia , but really really powerful ... I watch Sarkar ... I even change my way of walking temporarily to something I think is a more powerful walk ... it sure felt powerful, I felt powerful ...Then I return to the book .. and I again want to be earning loads of money ...
I watch more films ... I go more paranoid ....
After some time I think I want to become a movie director.
That thought is not alien to my mind ... I have always wanted to become a director ... maybe only a play director earlier .. but a director ..
but I never gave it much thought ... all the job security and happy life, getting fat sitting confortable on my ass, all secure and everything, everything filled up in my mind that I guess one picks up sub-consciously through his life ... I never thought of taking any risk with my life before ...
But a part of getting influenced by all the media is that you pick up a lot of carelessness ... or you can say more risk taking ... and now I want to , well .. take some risks .. like trying direction for instance ...
And again .. I want to do an MBA .. sit on my comfortable ass and count loads of money ...
This decision making .. I can leave it for a while, for a year or so I guess ... but when you are sitting at home getting fucking bored ... every single thought is thought and re-thought. You can't help it ... if you don't want to think about it ... then you are actually thinking about it and thinking that I shouldn't be thinking about it, which is basically thinking about it.
What do I do ?
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Anyways ...
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Exam time ahead ...
Results came out today ... I am , as usual, amongst the last few people in my class ... and as usual .. the system and the crappy subjects are to be blamed ..
Think I'll write a song about the "System" some day .... and then me and my would-be band can perform it ... we may become famous you know...

But I don't think I want to become a rock star ...
I am pretty sure about this one, I think.