Invicticus

Out of the night that covers me ,
Black as the pit from pole to pole ,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud ,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody ,but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade ,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds ,and shall find me ,unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate ,
How charged with punishments the scroll ,
I am the master of my fate : I am the captain of my soul

William Ernest Henely


Yesterday I found this poem in my drawer. This was the poem that Timothy McVeigh (An American, who bombed some place, and was executed) presented as his last statement.

Marriage in front of my house

Yesterday we had this big marriage in front of our house. Boy these ppl sure knew how to boogie ... they did so till 4 in the morning.I could not get a minutes sleep. It was like I was trying to sleep on the dance floor. And the music selection was so lousy .... imagine playing Vengaboys again and again about 10 times or so. This was torture ... I can't listen to that shit even once. As if that was not enough .. the DJ kept on playing incomprehensible punjabi music .... crass cacophony. And finally the crowds favourite...."ladies and gentleman for your entertainment and pleasure only" .... 'Its the time to disco'. Whoa ! what a mindblowing track .... wish I could kill the DJ.
Loud music was not the only problem ... our colony became clogged with vehicles by 8 in the night and the baraat had not yet arrived. By 10 there was no parking in sight even outside the colony. Then there was this generator that was so placed that the pipe designed for its exaust pointed to my house so that any body who went outside came back gasping for air. The generator was also very noisy but we couldn't hear it before 4 am in all the DJ's noise (Lucky us !).Wonder when the couple will celebrate their marriage anniv. for they got married the next day morn instead of the date printed on the card.
Seeing the marriage and hearing what Gupta aunty and Sharma aunty had to say about the marriage the next day... these marriges appear to be one big show-off. Gupta aunty's eyes shone like the chandelier in yesterdays marriage ( It was so huge that u cud see it from a kilometer away ! ) when she told my mom about the money spent on everything from the flowers to the jewellery to the amount that came in the shagan to the car they gave away ( Skoda Octavia , my fav.... lucky bastard , the groom ). And my sleep was not the only thing that was devastated in the grand celebration. The lovely park in front of my house was in total ruins. All the plants were trampled upon and everything was a big mess. And to our dismay , ppl discovered in the evening that while the tent ppl made holes in the road for the tent poles , they managed to cut an underground wire so that there was a short circuit in the street-light wires and hence the colony remained in total darkness today , since the electrician was on a holiday too.
And all this was not the first time. The same family did a jaagaran some time back and we had to deal with deafeningly loud bhajans and aartis till about 5-6 in the morning. Imagine the bhajans were made on popular bollywood tunes ! For ex. 'Kaho na pyar hai ...' became 'Mata ka durbaar hai .. ' ! Either the creators of these bhajans lack originality or they want to impress the God with their sick sense of humour. In any case , I was not amused.

Too many things happening ....

Too many things are happening , all at once in my life ....

--Deleted--

Second : I am getting spiritually inclined ! I used to be a firm atheist , but recently I have started believing in the existance of some phenomenen that underlies everything. And this is not because of some baba etc..... I posted another blog on the same , so if u want to read this , visit here. I am reading this book called the celestine prophecy (James Redfield)... not a very well written book , but with every page , I become more convinced that there is more to human life than what science told us.

Third : My mother does not keep well and I get so worried sometimes .... she's gotten a lot of diseases , but that does not make her sick. It is sth in her mind... she just can't accept the fact that she is no more in perfect state of health. This makes her even more sad ... and this intensifies her already diseased condition . She is heading to terminal sickness ... and I can't help it...she will not listen. But I am happy now .. she is finally trying to come out . Yet sth saddening happens and she returns to her original state.

Other things happening are that I am not losing weight . Not that I am trying very hard but can't some miracle happen ? ;-)